Labour Pains

Ok so I have probably done a really stupid thing and just watched some videos on You Tube of woman giving birth. Actually thinking about it stupid maybe the wrong word to use. I looked for curiosity reasons and now I am even more scared than I originally thought. I know that a lot of woman give birth and that its the most natural thing in the world but I am scared of the pain and losing my temper whilst in Labour.

I really don't want to show myself up in front of Alex and the midwifes. I know that midwifes have seen it all before and have had every scenario played out to them but I'm still worried that I will make a complete and total arse of myself.

I suppose that all woman think these thoughts as their due date draws ever nearer and that it is natural that these thoughts are running through my head, but none the less I still feel scared.

I know that I am going to have all the support around me that I will need but primarily it is all down to me and that scares the fook out of me. I personally don't think that the antenatal classes we have been going to have been good either as it has installed more fears into me about going into labour. I know that they are doing it for good reasons but going into it in minute detail is pretty nerve racking.

This is something that I never thought would ever happen to me and although I cannot wait to be a mum and part of a family, the fears of labour are seriously praying on my mind at the moment. I think that I will just have to concentrate on the fact that there will be a lovely, gorgeous baby at the end of all that pain, and that it will all be worth it.